Today, I hit a post-surgery bike milestone of 5 miles. This feels especially huge because, due to the nature and journey of my injury, I haven’t been able to sit on my Peloton for a year and a half.

I celebrated by getting some healthy tacos for Taco Tuesday, which made me instantly miss my usual unhealthy steak tacos with all the sauce that gives me heartburn. Aside from that, though, I’m trying not to let the Peloton brand experience bring me down. I’m still not ready for classes and, therefore, have yet to reactivate my Peloton account.

They make using this machine that I supposedly “own” an intentionally bad experience without an account. A notification banner even hides access to important UI when riding. Finding the ability to “Just Ride” is in tiny fine print at the bottom of the screen, and they have clearly put a lot of thought into making sure it’s all terrible and a little shame-inducing to use without their pricey, monthly account. I had always planned on reactivating, but this has me thinking I need to possibly explore other non-subscription options at some point.

Maybe I’ll stick with the Peloton and maybe not. What I care about most is just being able to be on a bike. At least my outdoor bikes are mine–for now.