Work has been especially challenging recently, and I grumpily wrote this week off entirely because of it. If I look past work, though, some pretty great things actually happened.

I set my new post-surgery cycling record (6.5 miles) AND my walking record pace (14.4 minute mile average/14.2 fastest split) this week. I also drove the longest distance since surgery. Driving was the first thing I lost the ability to do, and it was difficult and scary to do again.

Ben and I had some time together and got important house stuff done. There was no shortage of shitty things that happened, but I don’t want to lose these wins because of them. And hopefully I can make sure my future work weeks are not quite so unbearable.

Sneakers are a near-constant purchase for me and a frequent source of frustration. It’s hard enough to find the perfect pair to cover as many comfortable miles as possible, but then, each year, that sneaker model changes dramatically. These updated versions usually don’t resemble or perform as well as the previous, beloved year’s model. Getting outside opinions can further complicate things since everyone’s needs and preferences are so different. I hit this issue every 200 miles.

I’ve rotated between a few different models of Brooks and ASICS for many years. While there’s a lot to love about the Brooks brand, the quality of the models I was getting each year reduced to the point where I was even getting toe holes (Glycerin 20) in each pair before 90 miles.

I have not experienced this quality dip with ASICS and have grown to prefer their gel insoles–it’s a difference that can be felt immediately. But their Gel-Kayano model was making my underpronation (insufficient inward roll of the foot after landing) worse, and the latest model has become nearly identical to Hokas, which I’ve found overly bulky and unstable.

It all feels impossible and overly expensive until I remember to just go to the local runner’s store. I brought in my old shoes so they could look at my treadwear pattern, and I shared brand preferences and activity goals. I walked away with a pair of ASICS Gel-Cumulus 26, which feel like they will be perfect—for now.

Today, I hit a post-surgery bike milestone of 5 miles. This feels especially huge because, due to the nature and journey of my injury, I haven’t been able to sit on my Peloton for a year and a half.

I celebrated by getting some healthy tacos for Taco Tuesday, which made me instantly miss my usual unhealthy steak tacos with all the sauce that gives me heartburn. Aside from that, though, I’m trying not to let the Peloton brand experience bring me down. I’m still not ready for classes and, therefore, have yet to reactivate my Peloton account.

They make using this machine that I supposedly “own” an intentionally bad experience without an account. A notification banner even hides access to important UI when riding. Finding the ability to “Just Ride” is in tiny fine print at the bottom of the screen, and they have clearly put a lot of thought into making sure it’s all terrible and a little shame-inducing to use without their pricey, monthly account. I had always planned on reactivating, but this has me thinking I need to possibly explore other non-subscription options at some point.

Maybe I’ll stick with the Peloton and maybe not. What I care about most is just being able to be on a bike. At least my outdoor bikes are mine–for now.

I have already written and deleted a bunch of paragraphs about this. But I think it boils down to this: I think being too nice is working against me now. At least in the current state of things, where somewhere along the lines this is getting translated to no boundaries and mistreatment.

I can’t point to any single thing that brought this on, but rather a series of things that have built up over the past couple of months. I generally default to being nice and trusting at work and out and about in the world. Not all situations make this easy. It takes deliberate effort and some days are harder than others, especially when other people are unapologetically not making the same effort.

However, something that is becoming less clear is how to be nice while also making sure people know and feel that this does not equate to weakness. Further, I also realize this is a complex and often sexist issue. With a few exceptions, this has not been so much of a problem until now. Maybe my tolerance level has changed, or maybe others are becoming less regulated. I don’t know. Either way, this has become a priority after a recent out-of-line DM, which, in a strange way, I’m grateful for since it was the final catalyst for seeking change.

I had my 6-week post-spine surgery checkup today, was cleared for PT, and got the green light to remove my brace. It’s equal parts thrilling and terrifying. This was my third spine surgery since July 2023, and I’m struggling to not carry that baggage with me and treat this as a fresh situation. Therapy (talk therapy) is helping, but I think time is needed more than anything. I asked the orthopedist’s office what protocols they have for monitoring the surrounding discs. They said none and that I need to enjoy my life and not think about that. I really need to figure out what that looks like.

For now, I’m going to spend the day working less than usual, going for a walk, researching the perfect PT office, and just existing without overthinking anything. The sun is out. It’s warm. I actually still need to remove my brace, but I will soon. Probably.

Sunday is always the day when weekend guilt sets in. As a family, we tend to be homebodies. I like recovering from work, going for longer walks, and getting into internet things like starting and customizing this micro blog. I also looked into bird feeders with cameras so that I can put trygarden.ing to good use this year. Further, I’m still making my new office cozy and watching Conan’s new show. We have a family board game lined up for later. We will do more once the weather is consistently better, but you won’t ever find us going on sporadic trips or concerts or bars. We like going out to get plants or antiques and then just coming back home.

I guess the problem is when other people ask me what we are doing and then share their intense, action-packed plans. The things I’ve listed don’t seem like much or very impressive when I say them out loud. And I can’t help but feel a bit of guilt as a result.

The thing is, though, this is what we need and enjoy. I’m still healing from surgery. We have a lot of allergies in the house that make most trips too difficult. We like being cozy and around our stuff. I really want to shake the guilt of this, lean into it, and own it–I don’t need excuses! I guess it’s probably very boring to some, but a weekend itinerary sounds very stressful to me.

Hi, my name is Joni, and I like doing nothing on the weekends.

I hit a new post-surgery walking pace this morning: 15:08 minute mile.

I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not I’ll get back on Strava, and I’m leaning towards no. I really liked the data, but I can get that with other apps. The social feature is a bit too painful when going through something like an epic injury. Most of all, though, I think it encouraged (for me) a lot of unhealthy habits and personal competition, and I really lost sight of my original goals and struggled to care about anything else. I couldn’t see this in the moment, but it’s pretty clear now. I don’t want to go back to that level of obsession.

I’m happy to hit this little milestone right before the six-week mark. But, ya know, I’m not obsessing over it or anything!

I’m excited to try this platform out after seeing many of my favorite people praise it. This has motivated me to be unmotivated with actual work today and focus on cleaning up all my internet accounts and updating my colors everywhere.

I can’t wait to follow along with everyone.