I have already written and deleted a bunch of paragraphs about this. But I think it boils down to this: I think being too nice is working against me now. At least in the current state of things, where somewhere along the lines this is getting translated to no boundaries and mistreatment.

I can’t point to any single thing that brought this on, but rather a series of things that have built up over the past couple of months. I generally default to being nice and trusting at work and out and about in the world. Not all situations make this easy. It takes deliberate effort and some days are harder than others, especially when other people are unapologetically not making the same effort.

However, something that is becoming less clear is how to be nice while also making sure people know and feel that this does not equate to weakness. Further, I also realize this is a complex and often sexist issue. With a few exceptions, this has not been so much of a problem until now. Maybe my tolerance level has changed, or maybe others are becoming less regulated. I don’t know. Either way, this has become a priority after a recent out-of-line DM, which, in a strange way, I’m grateful for since it was the final catalyst for seeking change.